Attachment Theory - Bonding and Maintaining It
The attachment theory emphasizes how vitally important bonding is to develop a secure attachment with your baby and child in order to prevent insecurities. Formulated by psychiatrist and psychoanalyst John Bowlby, the attachment theory - the basis for attachment parenting is based on your baby's need for safety, security and protection - this might be called, parenting for mental health.
Parenting for mental health
is greatly aided by forming and maintaining this attachment and has long term benefits. The high demands society puts on children triggers anxiety, low self-esteem and insecurity.The attachment theory and attachment parenting helps address and perhaps even prevent these challenges.
So, what is important for you as parents to know about this theory? Have you wondered,
what is attachment parenting
? And, what kind of practical steps can you take to achieve bonding with baby and then maintaining it as your child grows older?
Although studies show that learning and bonding starts with your
baby in womb
, clear bonding develops when your child is between six months and two years old, and is expressed in a number of ways. She may not want you to leave - even if for short periods, welcoming you back, clinging and following. Your baby feels more confident to explore when you are with her because she feels more relaxed. Behaviors change as a child grows older in various ways that are determined by experiences and situation. At this point the needs of your child change from being physically close to availability. As a result, longer separations will be comfortable to your child with less clinging and following and greater self reliance.
You can check this search box for books written about different kinds of attachments.
The attachment theory outlines the importance of bonding with baby when you spend time with her and are sensitive and responsive in a social way, resulting in quality time spent together. This results in your baby forming a healthy bond to you that will make her feel happy and protected. With this as the motivation, more and more mammas decide to be a
stay home mom
. When you talk to your baby you accomplish several great things. The greatest is that it makes her feel close to you and makes her feel important. And, that aids bonding and makes her feel safe and loved. When you
read to kids
the world seems to stand still and all there is, is you and your little one cuddling, immersed in a "good story". This is a good way to maintain attachment.
Dr William Sears
is a pediatrician and co-author of The Attachment Parenting Book : A Commonsense Guide to Understanding and Nurturing Your Baby and many other parenting books. Dr. Sears is a big advocate of co-sleeping, baby wearing, homeschooling and the
breastfeeding toddler
scenario. Children who have not formed a healthy attachment with a primary caregiver become victims of insecure attachment. This has been described as a "liability" for the child and can compromise future relationships. It can also contribute to general insecurity which can cause behavior problems and social incompetence. As your child grows older the relationship needs constant maintenance to keep it strong. Engaging in
family fun activities
with your kids is a great way to achieve this. It's a relaxed way of spending time together, conducive to keeping the channel of communication open in order to maintain the bond. By talking, listening and teaching your kids to reason they develop good problem-solving skills. It equips them with the principles they need to tackle difficulties successfully. Every aspect of your child's growth is in your hands. As the attachment theory emphasizes - when you are bonding with baby you are emotionally involved and notice and acknowledge your baby's actions and reactions. You prevent insecure attachment and its consequences. Through your relationship with her, she learns about herself, and the world around her. She experiences emotions and learns how to cope with them. The attachment theory and all it stands for is beautiful. Emotional connections are made through bonding and healthy growth follows naturally. Knowing that this is parenting for mental health, the attachment parenting model is the parenting model of choice for many parents like myself. These babies are privileged to have healthy attachment and grow into loving, secure people who succeed.
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