Convincing Dad???

by Liz

Question:

I've been reading a ton lately about Attachment Parenting and I love it!

I'm trying different techniques with my kids with success and love everything that is happening however, my husband disagrees.

He says they're the same as always with him and that our 19 month old just cries the whole time with him and my 3 year old whines a lot more now.

I personally think its because they are having their needs met more with me and they are upset because their dad just yells at them and threatens them with spankings when they cry (which by the way only makes the crying worse). He just doesn't get it.

He won't read the books and accuses me of trying to make the kids hate him because I refuse to punish them. He says I am spoiling them. Do you have any suggestions???

Answer:

Liz, I empathize. There are a few things to keep in mind though that might help you and your husband sort through this.

Your husband? Having a talk about the kids at a time when they are not around might be more conducive to a happy resolve.

Some daddy's just don't feel the need or the desire to read books about parenting as do mamma's. Also, some people parent as they were parented.

At a time when you are both relaxed and in a good mood you could bring up some of the principles of good parenting that you have discovered, and explain why you feel they are good for your family.

If your husband is like mine, he spends a lot of time away from home working - 8 hours of work each day plus transit time. When he comes home, the kids are tired and maybe hungry? He sees them during the most difficult hours of the day.

Weekends for little people can be a bit tricky too because the schedule they had for 5 straight days is now broken for 2 days and everything is different - the exclusive attention they received from you all week is now shared.

The toddler years too are difficult. For both my kids, their 3's were worse than the "terrible twos". At least part of it is an age thing. That will pass.

Most importantly, it's really important to let him know you are on his side. You need to work as a team. The kids can feel it if you are divided.




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